The Circle of Life…and friendship

 

 

HI… I’m Colleen and I have a heartfelt story to tell you..

Way back on September 24, 1994,….Over 20 years ago…. My (now) husband Steve and I happened to be in the same bar at the same day and same time. We were only just acquaintances up until that day… We started to talk , and laugh, and by the end of the night,.. Steve was asking me for my phone number. Giving Steve my number was the start of a beautiful life together….

This is where the story REALLY begins.

This story is NOT about Steve and Colleen , It’s about a DIFFERENT Steve…..He was a very courageous man.. named …STEVE FISCHER.

Steve Fischer was a part time bartender and a common friend of my  husband and myself. He was working at the bar that night. Chic’s Sports Bar…to be exact…

On that very special night, Steve Fischer loaned Steve Hack a pen. So that Steve Hack could get Colleen Dymond’s phone number….That’s me…Colleen (maiden name Dymond)…

Yes, it all started with a pen… … and a napkin (to write my phone number on)…Given to us by Steve Fischer….

During our time dating, we frequented that same bar quite often and Steve Fischer saw our relationship flourish…  He knew what drinks we liked. He knew what sports teams we came to watch on the TV’s situated above the bar… He was our friend.

Well, years went by.. My Steve (Hack) and I got married.  We didn’t go out to the bars anymore. We started our family and going out to a bar was pretty much part of our past. We didn’t see Steve Fischer as often.

As a matter of fact, I did not see Steve Fischer around much for many years. I only recall one time, running into him at the YMCA. (Around the year 2000).He looked very well put together and healthy. Steve was always a very good looking guy. He had a strong face, he was very muscular, and always had an adorable smile. His smile always had a side glance that went along with it…That’s how he looked when I saw him that day at the Y, and that’s how he looked back in the days of him being our favorite bartender.

When I saw him that day he had told me that he had great job working at the county offices. I figured so, because I knew he had a degree from St. Bonaventure University.

A few years after that.., a friend of mine told me that Steve Fischer was sick. I didn’t know what they meant by “sick”.. Cancer? ….What was it?

I didn’t know…

Then, a few years after hearing Steve was sick, I started to see Steve’s dad when I was swimming in the YMCA pool. He would mention that Steve was sick with a disease but did not get into detail.

Steve’s dad also told me that Steve was married and he and his wife had a young son. That’s all I really knew. This was sometime in early 2010.

Fast forward a few months to September of 2010. I was devastated to hear that Steve Fischer had passed away. HE WAS ONLY 44 YEARS OLD. My friends told me he left behind a 6 year old son.. Their son, “little Steve”, had just started the 1st grade… That broke my heart.

There was so much that I didn’t know about how it all went down over the years.

Here is where the story takes another turn….

In October of 2010… Just 1 month after Steve died… Our family needed to start looking for a new house. We had 4 children by then and our little brick house in Kingston was getting too small for us. The realtor suggest we look at a house in Lake Katrine. It was still being built at the time and was set to be done by the end of December. We were able to sell our house very quickly and decided we would buy the new house in Lake Katrine.

Well, the VERY FIRST memory I have of driving into our “soon to be” neighborhood to check out the progress on our new house being built was this beautiful blonde woman in front of a beautiful colonial house working on her garden. She saw me drive past and she waived and smiled.

Turns out,  most times that I drove past her house to go check on my house, she would be working in her yard, and she would always waive and smile.

We finally moved in to our new house during December of 2010.

I learned, soon after, that the woman who lived in that lovely home and always waived to me was Steve Fischer’s wife…. Sad to say, his “widow”. This is where the “circle of life” starts coming into play. Her name is ALISON. And she was my new neighbor.

I decide to “FRIEND” Alison on Facebook. It didn’t take long and we were texting and then eventually spending time sitting in her kitchen, having some lovely “beverages” with our other neighbor, Anna.

As time went on, we got to know each other very well. We have a lot of fun together . Lots of laughs.

After I got to really know Alison is when I  learned that Steve died from a disease called “Scleroderma”. Scleroderma is a rare disease where the body attacks its own cells and damages them.

Looking at the photos that Alison had posted on Facebook of Steve during his sicker years, he didn’t even look like the same person. He was so thin and lost all muscle tone. His posture and face … completely different…

I am sure the details of how this disease started to take away Steve’s life are unimaginable. The symptoms of Scleroderma are awful !

I get the impression he only changed on the outside. He was still the same guy: a jokester, a little bit of a wise-guy on the inside., And he still had a very strong attraction to Alison…

I have learned that Alison is a strong woman who stood by his side right until the very end. Alison was only 43 years old when Steve died.

Alison often speaks of Pittsburgh. Lots of our conversations about Steve were about when he and she were in Pittsburgh… I never wanted to ask her too much. I did eventually learn that when his health was really, really failing,.. Steve had to go to a hospital in Pittsburgh. When they knew he was near the end… They brought him back home to the Kingston area to live out his final days.

When my father in law passed away and we went to his grave sight for the first time, I noticed he is buried right near Steve Fischer. My heart sunk when I saw that. It’s so REAL when you see a persons grave. There is an inscripture on Steve’s grave that says “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away“…It’s absolutely beautiful.

Alison is doing very well right now. She has worked very hard at helping little Steven with his grief and living without his dad. She always tells him memories and fun facts about his dad. She keeps Steve’s memory alive.. Her life is all about making sure she is there for little Steven.

Alison is a fantastic mother to her son….

(I know… Way too many Steves in this story…)

It’s been over 4 years since Steve Fischer passed away.

Alison recently found a new love of her life…. She deserves it….. And Steve would want that !…. Her new love is definitely a “Two thumbs up”  .. approved by all who love Alison. And, most importantly, approved by little Steven…

Little Steven is a now in 5th grade. He’s turning into a fine young man. He is so well mannered. Not to mention, very handsome…like his dad…

Alison is an incredible woman. She still works in her garden during the nice weather months and she still looks up with her blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful smile to waive to me as I drive past her.  She’s happy and she’s beautiful…and she’s my friend …

After all this knowledge of Steve and Alison .. I wanted to know a few more things …..So, I decided to ask Alison these 2 questions…….

1. Did the past 4 years help you become a better person because of what you went through?

2. What was the last funny situation that happened between you and Steve before he passed away?

Here was her response:

 I think the last 4 years have just made me a different person. Steve did everything, paid the bills, took care of the house, cars ect. So I’m definitely more independent. I tell little Steven all the time how lucky we are. We didn’t go through this awful experience alone. We have 2 amazing families and the most unbelieveable friends. We have a house, food, money to pay our bills and live life the way his father wanted us to…and we have the best memories of Steve. So I guess I’m not a ” better” person but a changed one. I had a love some people never find and an amazing man who showed us what real courage ,family and dignity is all about…I’m a lucky girl.

For as sick as Steve was, he never complained and we laughed…alot. Many laughs and memories between us I keep private because they just seem extra personal now. So this may not be the funniest; but its one I won’t forget.
The day we brought Steve home from Pittsburgh he started receiving meds to keep him comfortable for the long trip. He starting thinking my nephews were there..and they weren’t. He promised my sister in law a horse. He started going on and on about General Hospital. ( which was a television show  I had always watched) I mean full details about characters, names, story lines, sex scenes..everything. On and on,… the nurses must have thought he was home watching t.v. constantly !

At that point, we knew things were really bad. Here I am trying to get as much quality conversation in with him as I can, knowing how bad his situation was, and he’s talking about the 2 popular characters from that tv show ..Luke & Laura !

But, the thing I will never forget is when I was leaving his room (in Pittsburgh) for the last time…

I reached for the door to leave his hospital room, he said “HEY”.  I turned back to look at him and he puckered up his lips…. as if to kiss me… and then he smiled. That’s what I’ll never forget.

STEVE DIED THE DAY AFTER HE ARRIVED BACK HOME FROM PITTSBURGH. 

Alison, you are such a special person.

The story is an example of how you never know the road , or circle, that life is going to take you on..The street we live on is called Pawan Circle ,,,  The “circle of life” or the “Pawan Circle of life “…I’m so happy the Fischers are in my/our circle of life ..

I have to add that the entire neighborhood we live in have become such great friends and they would all agree that we are proud to be  friends and part of the “circle”..

Thank you, Alison, for allowing me to share your story !!