Dave vs. Pain

This is Dave …

I remember Dave when I was in elementary school. We lived in the same general (Meagher School) neighborhood.  He lived on a street where there were AT LEAST 25 kids around the same age who played out in the streets all day until the streetlights popped on. They all played at the same little league. The parents were all friends.  You can’t find neighborhoods like that anymore.

I never knew Dave all that WELL. We knew each others names and would say hi when we saw each other. I don’t think it went beyond that….

I remember, once, I stopped by his house with a friend just to say hi when we were in our early teens. I remember he had a swimming pool in his back yard . For some reason I recall he drove a green car in high school. I remember he had a younger brother and his parents were the type that were always there for all his important life stuff. I always remember they looked very cute together.

I remember even more clearly that he loved all the heavy metal bands in the 80s and he loved music and guitars.. all high school memories….

I also remember very clearly when someone had told me he and his girlfriend were expecting a baby when we were all still teenagers. 16 years old, I believe.

Well, years went by…. I don’t really know what became of Dave other than I was pretty sure he was still around town and he married the mother of his child.

Fast forward to the years of Facebook. Dave and I became Facebook friends a few years ago. That’s really when I got to “catch up” on Dave and what he’s up to these days.

I learned that he was still married to his sweetheart from high school. … the mother of his child… How cool is that … A success story. They raised their daughter and sent her off to college.  I don’t think I have ever heard of a couple having a child that young and staying together all these years.

He still loves his guitars and still remains good friends with all of his high school buddies. They all rallied together a few years back when their fellow band mate and best friend died way too young. I think Jason’s death will haunt every single one of them forever. I also get the impression that it has created a tighter bond between all of them ..These guys have been buds for 20-30 years …

I learned he has some really cute dogs that he adores.

He had surgery on his spine recently ..

He definitely hates certain things (ie; cancer and a particular car dealership)  ….for good reason…. and he definitely reminds us of his hate for those things .

A “man’s man” who loves his music and has a “don’t mess with me” attitude.

I did notice a softer side of Dave when his daughter gave birth to his first grandchild… and then a second…

Well, Dave likes to give ME a hard time about my favorite things I like to post about on Facebook… “Always Target, Starbucks, running, and your family… ” Dave always busting my chops because he’s a “tough guy”….

So, I decided to ask him 3 questions..

1. Who inspires you most?

2. Why?

3. What are you most afraid of ?

Here’s his response….

Hahahah. So do you want serious answers or fun answers. So many ways I can go with this.

What inspires me most. Hmmm. Well some would say guitars, EVH, Van Halen or music gear. And that would most definitely be true. Nothing makes me happier and makes the pain go away for a minute like buying a guitar, especially something beat up and making it like new again. But my true inspiration is my wife. She’s my rock. Keeps me going. Life hasn’t been so great since the first surgery in 2005. While I was the provider when we got pregnant at 16 and had to get her through all the years of college and her masters, she is now the provider when I can’t really do so much. She hasn’t stopped and blinked once. Never complains. Carrys the heavy stuff at sams club and shoots dirty looks back at the others when they snicker and see me just standing there. She never complains about the guitars. Or the gear. And let me tell YA. We have a lot. Lol. Too much. She spoils me rotten. And now to see her at her happiest with two perfect grandchildren. It’s pretty amazing. A life of pain and not being able to do much with it, suddenly changed when the first little perfect one came along. Then number two. Nothing makes us happier and in return nothing makes me happier than to see Nona or even just hear Avery (granddaughter) call her Nona. Or my name Baba??? Which started as GRUMPA but easily changed to Baba and stuck. Suddenly the GRUMPA didn’t fit anymore as that attitude went out the door the first day I saw her. So yeah. The wife inspires me each and every day. To keep on doin. Keep playing music. Keep the dream alive even though we are both smart enough to realize that part of life’s dream is not going to happen. But ya know what? She makes me a rockstar. 24/7. That’s good enough for me. (As long as I can keep the guitar collection). And no. I still won’t count them. Nope. Don’t wanna know. Never enough. That’s how many.

What am I most afraid of. Hmmm. Well it’s two part. One would be the wife dying. Don’t want to do this without her. The other part … The wheelchair. It’s coming. Sooner or later this shitty disease (mitochondrial disease) will over take my life like it has my dad. Some said I would be in one by now. I say f. U.!! Not ready. Got shit to do. Grandkids to play with. So everyday I get up and gets harder and harder. Everyday I have to wonder “is this the day”. Each time I get stuck on toilet or stuck out in public and can’t walk , I have to wonder. Hmmm is this the day? Between the craziest neck in the world, the worst spine ever and this crappy disease , it will sooner or later catch up to me. Until then. F U. I’m doin stuff.

Wow – Can you imagine ? His response is so touching and inspiring ..Archie Bunker showing his true colors. A sweet guy who’s in a lot of pain but is able to overcome it the best he can because of his love for his wife, his daughter, his grand children , his music and his guitars. He fights  A LOT of pain and I had no idea how bad it was/is….Pain can make a person miserable but Dave refuses to let that beat him right now . He’s a pretty awesome guy, if you ask me…

Thanks for agreeing to do this, Dave …And you are definitely a Rock Star .

PS- Dave is in a gospel band at a local church (and I NEED to go check that out)…When I learned that about him .. It really showed me his true character …