Being Hack

The Little Neighborhood School that Could…..

On Wyncoop Place in Kingston N.Y. sits an old school building. It was built in 1874. It then expanded in 1917, 1961, and 1996.

It was originally called the #5 School. Then, it became the Frank L Meagher Elementary School.

I grew up in the Meagher neighborhood and attended this school from September 1975 to June of 1982. (Kindergarten to 6th Grade.)

There are many fond memories even way before I attended this school. My older 4 siblings attended in earlier years.

To describe the school. It was the epitome of a neighborhood school. Most students walked to Meagher each day.  The nearby homes had large families and many homes had young children. Back in the 70s it was a very safe area.

I recall my mother walking me all the way to school on the first day of kindergarten. On day 2, I recall her walking me half way to school. Then on day 3, I was on my own walking to and from school. It was a common practice for many in this neighborhood.

Meagher had very unique surroundings. It sat midway down a steep hill, directly across the street from a Church. The Church of the Comforter (which was adjacent to a graveyard.) Behind that church is where all the “fist fights” and “first kisses” took place. None of which I was involved, of course. 🙂

Between the Church and the school was a cobblestone road. For some reason that was a historic street and was never paved over. Even to this day. the cobblestone remains untouched.  I can still hear the sound of the cars that drove down that hill. All those cobblestones made the cars bumpidy bump pretty loud.

On the bottom of the hill was a corner store. Mr. and Mrs. Dawkin’s Market.

On the opposite side of Meagher School building was a wooded area that had a path. The students who lived on Schufeldt St., Derenbacher St., Colonial Gardens Apartments, and other nearby streets…… took that path to and from school.

Behind the Meagher building was a large oval shaped playground encompassed by a tall quarry of rocks. Kickball was the popular recess game. If anyone kicked the ball far enough to hit the rocks, it was considered a home run. Word would get around school if someone “kicked the rocks.” It was a big deal.

This playground also created memories of the annual Halloween Parade.
I recall my mom writing a note for me to leave school midday to walk home alone to eat lunch and change into my Halloween costume. Then I would walk back to school to participate in the parade.

Another fond memory at Meagher School playground was watching a teacher, Mr. Ruggieri, pacing the outside of the playground area looking up and down at a paper. He was memorizing his lines. He was a member of Coach House Players and would use the time to study his theatrical lines.

I always got the impression that the teachers at Meagher were a tight group of friends. Many of them stayed in that building for many years. They didn’t hop around to other schools.
They had memorable names like: Mr. Brown, Mr. Kitchen, Mrs. Disch, and Mr. Short.

How can anyone forget the Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Kithcart ?

Thinking about the inside of the building. I recall walking past the principal’s office on the bottom floor and hearing Mrs. Madonna’s voice. She was a very good principal. Stern when she had to be. Always the same faces sitting in that office. I remember her secretary, Mrs. Freeman. The only time I ever had to go to that office was to be a courier and to ask the secretary to make “dittos” for my teachers.

I remember the cafeteria, gymnasium, and auditorium was all one shared room. The milk came from Boice’s Dairy. Cora and Shirley were the lunch monitors. Cora was also the kickball pitcher and often the referee. That woman was amazing and had a ton of energy.

The art and music rooms were in the basement near the boiler room. It was always so hot down there. The art teacher was super cool. Mrs. Costello. She wore leopard print clothes before it was cool.

The library was on the top floor. Mrs. Hopper was the librarian. She was instrumental in bringing technology into the school. She got ahold of VCR’s and played “The Letter People” and “3*2*1 Contact” videos for us during library class. She was good at storytelling and taught us the Dewey Decimal System.

The morning announcements. I recall when the Iran Hostage Crisis was happening,  the announcers would name off what number day the hostage crisis was at.

Some of the familiar family names who attended the school during my days there……. The Sullivans, The McDonoughs, The Boyles, The Brucks, The Laquidaras, The Scheffels, The Schneiders, The Hines’, The Mowrys,  and the McGowans,… Just to name a few.

Anyone remember the candy fundraising salesman who would put on an assembly and did Yo-Yo tricks? The annual marionette performances? Collecting Campbell Soup Labels to raise money for gym supplies? The rectangle pizzas, the pizza boats, and the turkey cubes with gravy they served for lunch?

I was reading information from the “Meagher Memories” Facebook page and learned that the school had a fire in the 50’s. Two classrooms caught fire and created smoke damage in the building. It had happened in June, so the last few weeks of classes were cancelled.

The memory that completely and utterly shocked the school community happened in March of 1981. It was the murder of the beloved 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Carol Bosch. She had been shot by an intruder in her home and barely managed to dial her phone for help. Sadly, she didn’t survive the gunshot. The school was in shock and I could not believe my ears when I heard the sad news the next morning when I walked into school. I had Mrs. Bosch for 4th grade. She died when I was in 5th grade. There were never any arrests. Still unsolved.

Meagher School closed down in 2012. There were many people who worked hard to keep the school from closing since it was originally threatened to close beginning in 1994. The community rallied to save it for 18 years.

Now, in 2020, it is still owned by the Kingston school district and has since been renovated. It is now the central administration building and houses universal Pre-K classes.

Well — Thanks for taking the time to go down memory lane with me. Meagher was a special place for many of us.

The following I am about to share is my experience while tracking a very high profile, local murder case. Continue reading Part 1 of 5 – The Nunez Trial – Courtside with Colleen

Continue reading The Nunez Trial – Courtside with Colleen – Part 2

Like I mentioned in part one of my blog, Austin was haunted by what happened on April 20^th, 1999. He was holding onto his best friend who got ambushed and he witnessed 11 other classmates get killed in the school library that day.

Austin witnessed something nobody, at any age, let alone 16… should ever have to endure.

Also, Austin had physical injuries. He was grazed in the hand and the knee by gunfire.

As a result of all of this, he was prescribed medication right away. He was prescribed: pain pills, Adderall, and sleeping meds.

Austin was told that he didn’t have to go back to school the rest of that school year. Austin received the grades that he had up until April 20^th and the teachers/administrators left it at that.

Four months after the tragedy at Columbine, the high school opened back up to the students. It was August 16, 1999 and it was the beginning of the next school year.

The school was newly renovated.

I read an article that the school had undergone a $1.2 million dollar face lift to rid the building of any evidence of the events that took place in April. The hallway carpets that had been ripped by gunfire and stained by blood were all pulled up and replaced with white tiling. New tables and chairs were installed in the cafeteria. They even replaced the schools alarms so students did not ever have to hear the same sound that bleated for hours during the shooting spree.

One place where the constructions workers did not try to smooth over the signs of the horrifying day is the library where 12 students were killed. The library: where Austin witnessed his best friend (Corey DePooter) be killed. Instead, the workers cleared out the room and put up a wall to completely conceal the entrance and lined the wall with new lockers, instead. They shut that room out like it never existed.

Some victims of the shooting chose to go back into the school building and start fresh on that day the doors opened back up in August of 1999.

Austin chose not to do that.

Austin told me that he did NOT want to go back into the school. He did NOT want to go back into a classroom.

So, he had a tutor come to his house about 3 times per week.

Austin graduated from Columbine High School in May of 2000 and marched with his classmates at the graduation ceremony. He was able to do this without stepping foot back into the high school.

His words he used to describe his situation at that time were “The Perfect Storm”… A 16 year old boy on pain meds, sleeping pills, and other prescription drugs, who had gone through a terrible trauma, and was able to stay home with no added responsibility .

This “perfect storm” led Austin to begin to abuse his prescribed medications. Soon after that, he started to drink alcohol, smoke weed, and use cocaine.

He stressed the following statements to me…

“Before April 20^th 1999, I never touched a drug in my life. I never did anything.”

“Within 7 months of that day, I was a full blown drug addict.”

This next part of his story really amazes me…..

Austin did not want to go back into any type of classroom and so he did not attend college.

He was a very bright young man and had a lot of computer skills. He knew a lot about the internet and web design starting at 13 years old. He started to use those skills and went out into the advertising world of Denver, Colorado.

“In that industry”, Austin said, “It’s all who you know.” If you know the right people and hang with the right crowd you can succeed in the corporate world without a college degree.

So, here he was becoming a successful advertising executive. Climbing the corporate latter by doing all the right things in downtown Denver.

All the while, he was using his earnings to continue to feed his addiction.

Based on the way Austin was describing it to me, it seems that he was a highly functioning drug addict. The industry he worked in required creativity and the drugs actually worked to his advantage as they helped him be creative.

Austin described to me that one of the many disadvantages of the drug addiction is that it shuts down certain logical parts of the brain.

The drugs caused him to do things that were not legal. He had no conscience. He started getting involved with random criminal behavior. He stole a car for no reason (he already had his own car). He explained that when he stole the car, it was almost like he was playing the video game “Grand Theft Auto” in his head, and then brought it to life.

He also started writing bad checks.

Austin said at this particular point in his addiction and his life, he was taking 200 mg per day of Adderall. (Just to give an idea of how much he was using.)

He said “I was constantly under the influence and constantly in pursuit of drugs.”

It was getting bad. His family knew it.

At this point he was in his early 20s. His, then, girlfriend became pregnant. They chose to get married. All through his wife’s pregnancy for their first child, Austin continued to abuse drugs.

Austin said when his first child was born; he was still feeding his addiction. He was not being the father he should be to his new son. He said “I was not stable at all.”

His family finally convinced him to go to rehab a few months after his son was born.

At that time, in his mind, he had not yet hit his “all-time low” yet. But, he still agreed to go to rehab.

Sadly, the reason he agreed to go to rehab was to receive an inheritance he had coming his way from his grandma. The family would not release his share of this money unless he attended rehab.

Austin attended rehab for 22 days. It was for the wrong reasons and he knew it.

His words: “I did not care.”

As soon as he got out of rehab, he was right back to using again.

The Advertising executive circle that Austin was involved with knew he was good at what he did, professionally, and most of them also knew he was a drug addict. They pretty much accepted that those facts came hand in hand.

And so, by 2008, Austin said it felt like he hit “the lowest of lows”. His son was 3 years old at this point. He was separated from his wife. He was continuing on this destructive path.

He decided to go into rehab, again.

Austin went to Dallas, Texas (where his parents were living) and detoxed and rehabbed. It took him 3 weeks to detox. He said he had so many drugs in his system; he literally did not sleep for the first 8 days. Like, totally up and wide awake. Austin tried to explain to me what it was like to go through detox. He said it was one of the worst experiences of his life. He said when he could not sleep for those 8 days, he was hallucinating.

Then he returned to Denver and continued on to a 90 day program.

He was clean. He was sober. He rekindled his relationship with his wife.

Things were going so well in their relationship that they decided to try for another baby. So….Soon after, child number 2 was on the way.

Austin was sober for 8 months.

He felt in control enough to be able to drink alcohol again. He told himself that alcohol was never his main problem. That was just fine.

Next, he started to smoke weed. He felt that was ok, also. Weed wasn’t his weakness. He felt he could handle that.

Then, one day a friend gave him a Xanax. While high on the Xanax, he called his drug dealer and there began his “storm”, once again.

He hid this from his wife.

By the time his wife gave birth to their second son, Austin was back to his addictive behavior and he was hiding it.

Austin said “My second son was 3 months old when my wife figured it all out. That was it. I had to move out. I moved to downtown Denver and went “balls to the wall” with my drug use.”

“I was trying to be a professional and at the same time spending $500 per day to feed my addiction.”

This was all in the 2010-2011 time frame.

“OXYCONTIN is what ultimately took me down”, he said.

“Oxycontin became my drug of choice and it’s what took me down hard.”

This story is not over yet..

Austin hit another low !.. And I’ll explain it all in part 3.

Stay tuned ..

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If you have already read part 1 and 2 of my blog story, you know that Austin was definitely not doing so well by 2011.

It was 12 years since Columbine and his addiction was getting the best of him.

He was not able to be a stable father to his 2 children. His marriage was ending.

At this point in his life, the drug he was abusing was Oxycontin.

April 2, 2011 became a significant day for Austin. This was the day that his life started to turn around. But, not before he hit another low…

On April 2, 2011 Austin remembers driving into downtown Denver and picking up 13 Roxicodone pills.

He remembers, then, heading to Coors Field to see a Colorado Rockies baseball game. It was opening day.

The next thing he remembered was that he woke up and found himself in a jail cell.

He was told that he passed out in a restaurant.

He was told that he overdosed on OxyContin.

The police got involved and ultimately the courts got involved. The courts pretty much had control over what direction Austin was going to take in his life. Jail vs. rehab.

Austin was 29 years old at the time.

Rehab was where he went. The court system put Austin in a rehab facility.

Guess what happened next?

This particular rehab facility did good things for him and Austin came out from this facility a changed man.

He was there for 7 months.

He likes to share the name of this particular treatment center because this place saved his life. It is called Stout Street Foundation.

I looked on Stout Street’s Facebook page.. It’s incredible to read the positive comments regarding this rehab facility .. This place has saved many lives !

It’s a very intense treatment center. They shaved Austin’s head and did things to “break him down”. He was there because he had to appease the court but he also knew he NEEDED to be there for himself, as well.

After that, he got placed in a half – way house and was able to go to meetings at the Stout Street Foundation a few times a week to keep his rehab progress going forward in the right direction.

After a year and a half of being sober, the courts released Austin from their control.

So, since April of 2011 Austin Eubanks has found lasting recovery.

Once he started to transition back into “the real world”, he knew he could not go back into the same work / social environment that he was in previously because he may fall back into his old habits.

He was fortunate enough to be given an employment position at a rehab treatment facility in the Denver area. He was a program manager. He relied on his connections to help him find a new job and someone gave him a chance.

Austin continues to work in the drug treatment community within the Denver area as a managing director. He loves it and he feels fulfilled.

In my research, I found that there are a lot of drug treatment centers in the Denver area. Probably because of the beautiful backdrop of the Rocky Mountains and the healthy lifestyle that is inherent in that community and area of the country.

What’s really cool about it is that Austin is able to use his background in advertising and his personal experience in recovery to be a successful managing director. This is a nice combination of skills to have and it works well for him. He can remain in the recovery environment and can continue to use his advertising skills at the same time.

Most  importantly, he can help others as he continues to help himself.

He is happy and he is busy. He’s engaged to a beautiful and loving woman named Alex.

He is now a fantastic father to his boys (Now ages 10 and 6). He spends time with them and loves them dearly. He also has a very good relationship with his ex-wife.

Something else about Austin that is a very important part of his life is fly fishing. In Colorado, you can do lots of that.

Austin has always loved fishing since he was a young boy and he still continues to do that in his spare time.

This is what Austin looks like now…Happy, healthy, and extremely handsome. 4 years and 11 months sober.

I asked Austin a few additional questions …. Here they are.

1. Do you think about Corey every day?
   

    I tend to think about him when I am fly fishing. We used to do that together. When I catch a fish, I think of Corey.  It’s my special time for that.

2. Do you know if there were any other classmates who were in the library with you that day who also turned to addiction as a result?
   

   I am not sure. I actually walked away and never looked back. I have stayed in touch with no one. It seems to me like everyone went their own way.

3. I am curious about your attitude. Do you feel like this is a journey that you have been on Since April 20, 1999 and it was “meant to be” because it ultimately landed you in a place where you’ve found your life’s purpose? …… OR…… Do you view it as “I am just making the best out of a bad situations or situations that occurred in my life”?
   

   I would have to say , a little bit of both. I am not a religious person and so I don’t really view my life events as “it was meant to be”….But I have definitely landed in a place where I now feel fulfilled.

4. Looking back now – with all the trauma you endured at age 16, and any other life stresses you had…. Is there anything you think you could have done to stop yourself from becoming addicted?
   

   Looking back I suppose I could conceptualize some interactions that could have happened. But I really do think that I was over prescribed. I think the system tends to train the prescribers … But the prescribers do not get trained in addiction.

5. Has FORGIVENESS played a role in your recovery?
   

   Do I forgive the perpetrators?

   I would say no.

   I have moved on, however. But, there are some things I just can’t forgive.

   That’s interesting that you asked me that question. I received a phone call from the media a few weeks ago regarding the 20/20 interview with Sue Klebold (mother of one of the perpetrators) . They asked me if I have forgiven HER.

   I don’t hold her accountable.

6. That Columbine High School yearbook photo of yourself.. (Actually was a photo from 3 years earlier then the Columbine tragedy, but the media used it as his main photo for some reason). What goes through your mind when you look at it now?

I think about hanging out with Corey. Fishing and golfing.

Also, it reminds me that time in my life sucked. That 20 minutes of my life…. on that day in April of 1999.. has defined my high school years.  It had defined me and it sucked.

I put all of my cards, letters and other memorable items from that time in a large box. I labeled it “Columbine Memories’. That box stays closed most of the time. I have to go back to it sometimes for different reasons. But for the most part, that box stays closed.

It was an honor to be able to talk to Austin. He is such a nice, genuine person. I am thankful for the opportunity. He didn’t have to take that hour out of his day to talk to me, yet he did ..

I intend to keep in touch with him .

UPDATE: That was how my original story ended in 2016.
This is what happened with Austin.. From 2016 to 2019…

After getting to know Austin, I followed him on social media and in the news. He became a celebrity. News media picked up on his story of recovery and he began going out and speaking his story to crowds all over the world. News shows did stories about him. Magazines, such as “People”, covered his story. He did a Ted Talk. He was doing well. So it seemed.

In the beginning of 2019, I noticed he had announced on social media that he and his fiancé had decided to split.

I was worried for him when I read that. His comments seemed as though he messed up in some way.

A month or two after that (May 2019) I read the sad news. According to the news stories, Austin wasn’t answering his calls and someone requested a wellness check on him at his home in Steamboat Springs, Colorado.
They found Austin dead. He was 37 years old.
It was reported that he died of a heroin overdosed.
I remember reading a week prior to his death, he was giving a talk at a conference in another state.. Telling everyone about how he recovered…. at the same time he was using again.

His addiction began in April of 1999 and it ended in May of 2019. A 20 year battle.
Rest in Peace.

Written by Steve Hack….Guest blogger…

“November is a great month. It provides us with an opportunity to reflect on all the wonderful things and people in our lives that we are so thankful for. It is why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It also coincides with the birthday of my wife as the 30th of this month she turns forty-five years young. I am incredibly grateful and blessed for nineteen wonderful years that we have been married. Here are a few of the reasons why I am so thankful for everything Colleen has done and continues to do:”

• I am thankful for the love and support she provides me every minute of every day.
• I am thankful she cares and worries so much about our four children.
• I am thankful she is always there to pick me up after a difficult day with a simple smile and some much needed kind words.
• I am thankful for her infectious smile and radiant personality which brightens every room she enters.
• I am thankful she can instinctively recognize my fears and concerns on a daily basis and put me at ease with a loving hug and tender kiss.
• I am thankful she wakes up in the middle of the night to fine tune a spin class or barbell class to ensure YMCA members can start their day in a positive fashion with a high quality 6 AM workout.
• I am thankful Colleen is so incredibly concerned and caring for her friends and family and is genuinely concerned for their well being.
• I am thankful for our long talks over our steak and pasta dinner date/restaurant nights where we spend most, if not all, of the time laughing and joking.
• I am thankful she stuck with me, encouraged me, ran with me, was both worried sick and excited for me, and even gave me a pep talk as I recently completed my first marathon.
• I am thankful she works three jobs while being the overwhelming primary planner and communicator for our children’s school activities as well as other activities. She does not complain about it one bit.
• I am thankful Colleen has done an unbelievable job decorating our house and keeping it constantly updated with each passing season and holiday.
• I am thankful she supports me in every one of my endeavors and attends as many of my activities as humanly possible.
• I am thankful she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.
• I am thankful for having such a wonderful and caring and loving person to be with me as we take this journey through life together.
• I am thankful for Colleen, my wife. Happy Birthday Honey !!

I wanted to write a quick little story about what I have come to learn while in my 40’s.

This month, I will turn 45 years old. So in honor of this…, I feel compelled to write a little something.

To be honest….. I enjoy being in my 40’s… I really do….

Here’s a few things that come to mind…

I feel like I have more wisdom. I am able to help friends who are younger with issues they may have…

I have more experience. I have gone through many good times and many bad times… This definitely helps to carve my personality and my compassion for others.

I feel more self confident. In my personal life and my professional life…At work, I tend to have a smile and always willing to help or eager to learn more about what I don’t quite understand yet.

I tend to worry less about the “small stuff”  and worry more about my health and my family.

I am very aware of what is most important in life. One example is the importance of  witnessing the excitement that happens daily in my childrens’ lives. I appreciate being at their activities.. Soccer games, choir concerts, recitals, karate classes, running races, etc.

By having this blog, I have learned so much. I have learned to listen to others and learn more about others.. I like to write about other people’s experiences …

Listening is so important… I feel like in my 20s and 30s I was a bit more self centered…I didn’t listen as well..

I also find that the things I listed above (wisdom, experience, listening, compassion) helps in my marriage. I am totally and completely in love with my husband. More than I ever have been. And we’ve been together for 21 years. I feel that our happiness also trickles down on to our 4 children.

It’s like a cycle…One hand feeds the other….

I go and get my hair highlighted every 7 weeks or so. I go and get my eyebrows waxed (but not as often as I should). I TRY to buy clothes that are updated and fashionable.The problem is, I have learned to HATE to shop for clothes (when I used to love it).. ..I try to stay active by running, cycling, and weight lifting.. I am conscious of trying to make healthy eating choices, but I like to eat and don’t deprive myself, ever….. In general, I find “balance”….  I find a happy medium with keeping up with appearances….Definitely not trying to be Christy Brinkley… I feel like at any age, it’s important to do what makes you feel good about yourself, right?

I just try to be ME… I do not compare myself to others.

And, believe me, and many of you have witnessed it… I have no problem going out in public, especially the grocery story, in my big sweatpants, no make up on my face and my hair or teeth barely brushed… Often wearing a baseball cap….. It’s just how it is…

And with THAT being said,…I have  learned (and it a took a long time for this…) to have the….”This is me… Like me or not..” attitude….Life is too short for nonsense of the people who may possibly be judgemental or jealous. Many people lose friendships over this, myself included…….Good things come to people who welcome positivity and happiness into their lives, be accepting of others, and celebrate other peoples achievements…

I have not always been like this. The way I live now is not the way I lived in my 20s and 30s (in some instances ). Some of which I just wrote about,  I had the opposite attitude or an extreme attitude at one point or other in my life.

It’s definitely been a process to get where I am now.  And I think that is so friggin’ awesome !!!!

Let me know some things you would tell the younger you… Things that you know now that you didn’t know then…I am curious…..

Thanks for continuing to read my blog…

I was scheduled to run in the Bank of America Chicago Marathon on October 11th, 2015.

During the time I should have been training, I was, instead, trying to heal a sore knee that had swelled up on me. I could not run in the marathon. It took too long to heal.

This story I am about to tell actually began back on  August 24th, 2015…

My husband, Steve Hack, and I were out at a local restaurant having a few drinks and just chatting about life.

I mentioned to Steve that I still had to cancel my hotel reservations in Chicago, my rental car reservations, and to defer my acceptance into the marathon until next year. Due to my injury.

Steve instantly said “Too bad I can’t run that marathon, instead…”…. He was completely serious.

Is he crazy…? …Steve is a runner. But, Steve is NOT normally a distance runner. A marathon is 26.2 miles long…. Steve, at that point, was running 6 miles as his longest typical distance.

I decided to go on my  iphone and see how many days someone can train for a marathon and be able to finish without actually dying…

I looked and some crazy person on the internet wrote an article about how there is a possibility a person can finish a marathon with 30 days of training… I checked the calendar…..and the marathon was 47 days away at that point…

I showed the article to Steve. He told me he wanted to get through a 6 mile race he had been planning to run that was a little over a week away… Then, he will entertain the possibility of training for a full marathon after the race… Which would leave him 31 days to train for the marathon…..

Well, the ultimate decision was made after that 6 mile race… Steve Hack was planning to run the BANK OF AMERICA CHICAGO MARATHON with 45,000 other runners…

He had 31 days to train.

Steve was going to take my place in the marathon…

He said he really, really wanted to run this for me….

Since I am experienced in marathon training, I drew up a handwritten training plan for Steve to follow.

He only had enough time to fit in three “long training runs” to be completed each Sunday.  He also had to do several shorter distance training runs during the week days before he left for work.., Then he had to do two weeks of “tapering time” (cutting wayyyy back on training miles). Tapering time is extremely important in order to rest up for the “big day”.

So, the official  training  began on September 10th… Race day was October 11th…

Steve’s long training runs consisted of: a 9 miler, then a 13 miler, and finally an 18 miler. That was it…

A REAL marathon training plan consists of 16 weeks of training. This was definitely an abbreviated version.

I mapped out his courses, hid waters in bushes so he had places to stop and have drinks, showed him how to use the GPS running watch so he can track his pace and distance…, and I even met up with him at spots on his long training runs holding hand made signs with words of encouragement.

I had nice cold “recovery drinks”  ready for him as soon as he got back home from his long runs.

It was all coming together…

And so… On Friday… October 9, … Steve, our son Bradley, and myself got in the rental car and made our long 14 hour drive out to Chicago from New York… Arriving at 10:30 pm that evening.

Friday night we stayed at Steve’s sister’s house just outside of the city..

Saturday we checked into our hotel which actually sat on MILE 1 of the actual marathon course.

We took a shuttle bus to the other side of the city to the EXPO and picked up the all important “running bib”.

That night, Steve slept like a baby..

That night, I hardly slept a wink. Being through this process 4 times, I worried about Steve and that he didn’t know what was about to hit him.

A person can be as “fit as a fiddle” (which Steve IS..), but a marathon can rip you to pieces.. The pain that your body endures in the higher miles is severe.. He hadn’t felt that yet.

So Marathon morning arrived. Steve woke up and got dressed and mentally prepped.

I took a pen and wrote all the mile markers he should look for Brad and I to be cheering for him. I also wrote some inspiring things on his arm so he can read them when he’s feeling tired.

I kissed him and looked him in the eyes and said “you got this”..

Off he went walking a mile to Grant Park where the starting line was.

I set it up so that I could get texting updates when he started, hit the 10K (6 mile) point, the half marathon (13 mile) point, the 30K (18 mile) point, and then the finish (26.2 miles)….

At 8:07 am I got the text that he crossed the STARTING LINE.

I was so nervous for him.

Brad and I saw him at several of our planned locations and he looked happy and strong and moving fast.

I received text updates that he was going a 9:04 minute per mile pace… Which is a little faster than I thought he was planning to run.

I was happy to keep getting the updates that he was plugging along and when I had seen him at mile 12 he looked strong and happy still..

Our next venture was to take the subway to the other side of Chicago to catch him at mile 23. We ventured over and made it to mile 23 … Soon after we arrived at the 23 mile mark, the text update came in that Steve had crossed the 30K point ( the 18 mile mark). It was then that I started to FREAK OUT !!!

His pace had slowed wayyyy down to a 12:29 minute per mile. Steve never runs that slow. It’s not a slow pace for many people, but it is for Steve..

I started to  worry terribly. My mouth went dry, I could not think straight…

I was definitely having a full blown panic attack !!

I went about an entire hour thinking Steve probably collapsed on the course.

I said to Bradley, “Let’s start following the course backwards behind all the spectators and head towards mile 22  … See if we can find him.”

I stopped at the medical tents to make sure he was not in there. He was not.

I had written emergency contact info on the back of Steve’s race bib the night before. So, I kept checking my phone for a call coming in from an unfamiliar phone number… NOTHING …

Brad was doing the math in his head and he said “MOM, I have faith in Dad, I think he just needed to slow down”…”I think we will be seeing him soon..”

We scanned the crowd of 45,000 runners coming at us…..We scanned and scanned.

I kept saying to myself “blue bib, grey shirt,.. blue bib, grey shirt..”… No Steve yet..

Standing at the mile 22 mark, I finally heard Brad say “There he is… There’s BIG D  !!!!!”.(Brads nick name for Steve)…

I was the happiest person on the face of the earth when I saw him..

Steve was running,. He never stopped running. He was staring into space and not able to talk or lift his legs too high.. But, the man was running !!!

What happened, was that he had “hit the wall” at mile 18 or 19. The longest he had ever run was 18 miles in his training runs and so his body recognized that and he had to slow it down. The sun had come out and the temps picked up to 75 degrees.. He was battling through all of this like a trooper.

Brad and I started running alongside him from the side walk and dodging spectators. Brad grabbed waters from the tables and had it available in case Steve gestured for a sip. We kept yelling encouraging words to Steve to let him know we were with him.

Brad kept saying “Come on, Big D, keep moving…..” as he’s running along side him. Brad even stopped and hid behind trees to let Steve run ahead to make him think Brad couldn’t keep up with him.. Helped his ego a bit…

We also would run onto the course , itself, to get close to him to talk if the crowd and music on the streets were too loud for him to hear what we were saying to him.

We ran with him from mile 22 to mile 25.

I kept saying “Brad, … Stay with him…Stay with him…”

You see .. on Steve’s long training runs. I always dropped Brad off on the course so that Brad could finish out the last 5 miles with Steve and help him through.. So, it only made sense that Brad would do the same on race day.

At mile 25, I ran out onto the course, literally, and got up in Steve’s face. I looked him right in the eyes and said “We are leaving you off here. You have ONE mile to go !!… You go and you get that medal !!!! For me !!! Right now !!!…

Steve couldn’t talk , but he could move his arms. He drew a heart in the air with his pointer finger to tell me he loved me…. And the look on his face changed for the better.. A look of determination. He ran off into the loud, cheering crowd toward the finish line….

About 12 minutes later, the automatic text came across my phone that he had crossed the finish line.

If you talk to Steve, .. he’ll explain the pain he endured, but the pride that he felt after he “hit the wall”, but dragged it with him to the finish line.

He is a very strong man. I am so proud of him.

A little extra note… Steve said he crossed the finish and started to dry heave a little, and fell to one knee… Then he picked himself back up and used whatever energy he had in him to walk and meet Brad and I at a special meeting place……. STARBUCKS on the corner of Jackson and Wabash ……Of course !!!,,, He can always find his wife at the nearest Starbucks.. Then we helped him walk back to our hotel room. We ventured out in the city that night (Steve hobbled slowly)…,  and then hit the road back to New York early the next morning…