Category: Uncategorized

This is my friend, Jennifer

I actually knew who Jen was way before I officially met her and became friends with her.. I first noticed her in 2002….. When I started participating in organized running races around my home town.

I started running in the year 2000, and by 2002 I felt confident enough to join in on some of the local races. The running community around this area is very well established and the organized races have built themselves up to be pretty big over the years.

l would see this girl… Jennifer …running the courses like she owned the roads and trails.  She made it look easy… Wearing headphones and carrying a CD Walkman in her hand as she ran…

After that, she was unforgettable. I saw her around a lot…… Not only at races, but randomly running on the road around our town, and at the YMCA – where I noticed she was in the pool a lot… doing “laps”.

This girl means business. It’s obvious she puts 100 percent (plus..) into her fitness routine.

Jennifer is/was tall, attractive, athletic, and serious.

I’ve always envied her. She definitely carries herself in a way that many others wish they could.

Jen and I have common friends, but never officially met each other for all of 10 years. I only knew OF her…

When I was training to run the New York City Marathon, many of my running community friends told me that Jennifer was also training for the same marathon.

When that race was finished, … Of course, Jen did great. She ran it fast as usual. I think she finished 1 and 1/2 hours before I did. A role model that I only saw from a far….

Fast forward to when we finally actually met.

It was 2 1/2 years ago when I had a job at a catholic school working in the tuition office. There a was a message for me to call a parent back who had a question about tuition. Turns out, it was Jennifer.  I called her back. Helped her out by answering her question.

Jen is married and has 2 elementary school aged children. They are adorably cute! She also has a few other children who are older and have their own adult lives going on now. She doesn’t even look like she has 1 kid..and here she’s got a whole slew of them!..

During that particular telephone conversation, while I was working at the school, we discussed the NYC marathon that we both ran together (2011) and we compared notes.  It was a nice conversation….

And we have been friends ever since.

Each time I saw Jen at the school I worked at, we talked about the fact she was training for her next marathon… coming up that fall. I was excited for her. She was working hard, as usual.

I remember, as Jen’s race day became closer, I was thinking about her and hoping she reached the “finish time” goal that she had been striving to reach. She is so good at running races, that she can actually plan out the time she will run each mile. So, she knew if she could follow the plan she put together for her self,… Mile by mile… All 26.2 of them,.. she will be successful… As long as there are no injuries or illness….

She trains herself well and she is very detail oriented.

Again, I envy her so.

So, Jen ran the Hudson Mohawk marathon, the one she had been keeping me updated on regarding her training …. I was thinking of her that day.. Hoping it turned out the way she wanted it..

That night, I saw that I had a new text message on my cell phone.  A phone number that I did not recognize..

The message said “Hi. This is Jen…. I did it !! I reached my goal time. I saw so happy, I dropped to the ground at the finish. I think I may have kissed the ground … I was so happy !”

Turns out, a common friend gave her my cell number. Jen was sweet enough to share that special moment with me.

She finished that marathon in her best marathon time to date.. 3 hours and 14 minutes.

Jen has ran 10 marathons so far. Including, NYC marathon ( as I mentioned earlier).. and Boston Marathon.

I could totally relate to her emotion she expressed when she broke her personal record at Hudson Mohawk Marathon.. Her heart gets so into it… As does mine… I totally felt her joy at that moment !!

From that point forward, Jen and I got to know each other even more.

We texted.. Back and forth.. About random running stuff, personal stories of our lives, and I always had running advice questions for her. Jen was always nice enough to help me out…She knows her stuff. Every bit of advice she gave/gives me has always worked. She’s my” guru” and she’s my friend !

~ Side note — Jen ran in The Boston Marathon during the year of the horrible bombings at the finish line . Jen had finished her run before the explosions occurred. She said Boston became chaotic that day. She was trapped in Boston in a hotel room with a bunch of other runner friends. They couldn’t leave the city.~

Well, I eventually became Facebook friends with Jen. I did not learn anything new about her by being her Facebook friend. I already knew a lot. We became such close friends……. Better friends than what anyone would share on Facebook.

So, now…I want to tell you a few additional things about Jennifer.

First off, I asked her if it was okay if I could feature her in my “Being Hack” blog.

She was delighted with the idea…..

You see, Jennifer was raised in New Paltz, NY… New Paltz is situated about 15 miles south of Kingston, NY. Where she lives now.

Jennifer is the youngest in her family.

Jennifer grew up with both parents in her household.

She has always been very close with both of her parents.

She was especially close with her father. Very close.. since “day one”….

Oh .. By the way… There is one very important thing you need to know about her father..

Her father was Floyd Patterson…. The World Undisputed Heavyweight Champion boxer. He had a record of 55 wins, 8 losses , and 1 draw.

He was a super star known through out the world.

Floyd Patterson won a gold medal at the 1952 Olympic Games as a middleweight boxer.

He settled in the New Paltz, NY area with his family and that is where Jennifer grew up.

Jennifer adored her father.

Sadly, he died on May 11, 2006. He died from cancer.

Jennifer and I have had many conversations about her father.

I learned right away, that…up until the very end, she was always “daddy’s little girl”.

Jen said it was her father that inspired her to become a runner. She and her dad used to run together down Springtown Road, in New Paltz.. Near their family home. That’s one of the many fond memories she has of the time she spent with her dad.

Here are some thoughts she shared with me about her dad..

Yup. He was just perfect in my eyes. I really just never thought he would die. Thought he was invincible.

Jen has such a strong bond with her father, that even upon his last moments of life., actually at the very moment of his death… … Things happened ..”Things” that could only be explained … by the fact that it was her DAD involved in these incidences. Too personal to share … but, believe me when I tell you. These stories made the hair on my arms stick up when Jen shared them with me.

Last night I texted her and told her I had just watched the video on youtube of her father when he matched up against  Muhammad Ali at Madison Square Garden, 1972, Live television….. I was amazed at how well respected her father was. Even by the announcers at the live event that night. They were so complimentary of him.

Here is what Jen said about that…

I was there. I remember it well..

When the fight was over he looked awful. I whispered in his ear and asked him to never “do that” again. He pulled his head away and looked right into my eyes, smiled and said “ok”.

Whenever he was asked …in years to come…. if he would fight again,..he told reporters they would have to get my permission first.

Floyd was defeated by Muhammad Ali that night. That defeat proved to be Floyd’s last fight.

Last night… I asked Jen to share a little known fact about her dad that she would like to share with the rest of the world…

Here is what she texted back to me….

My dad was a marathon runner in his retirement. He ran 8 marathons. New York City Marathon was his fastest time.  (3 hours and 35 minutes)

Also, he used to warm my school shoes for me.. in the oven… on cold winter mornings…

Then, I asked her.. “Did you meet any famous people through being the daughter of Floyd Patterson?” ….Here is what she said..

Yes. Many people… Including the NBA player (knicks) who died today… Anthony Mason.

When her dad passed away on May 11th, 2006. … These are her words as she reflected on that day..

Honestly, it was the saddest day of my life.

So, get this…….Jen’s dad died on May 11th. His funeral was on May 15th. Jen was pregnant at the time and her due date for her son, Ryan, was on May 16h.

Ryan looks so much like his grandfather it’s not even funny… Jen says that Ryan IS her father.. in many ways..

It makes me think of that old adage “For every person that passes away, another person is born”… Well, that is very true in this case.

I want to add that Jen and I have a common bond with the month of May. When she learned that May 8th is the day I lost my mom… She realized we can always help each other through that difficult time of year… Each year…

Last year, around that time, Jen and I met up together with another amazing friend, named Farrier. Farriers mom’s death is around that time, also… All 3 of us donated blood together in honor and memory of our parents.

If you could see all three of us , each laying side by side on the blood donor tables, it was a sight to be seen. I was so proud to be with them that day. There we were, 3 girls who had common sad situations, ..there together .. trying to make some good out of it…

I could actually do an entire separate story on Farrier, by the way. If she lets me.. She is also very amazing and has some inspirational stories that are both comical and sad.. Depending on the story…Farrier is another  friend who inspires me.

I am glad Jen agreed to let me write about her. I wanted to focus on that part of Jen’s life .. regarding her dad… Not only because he was a celebrity, but because he was also a regular guy.. A great dad, who showed his love by spending time with his daughter and cherishing his time with her. I wanted to explain how much he inspired her.

I also asked her “What do you miss the most about your father?”

She replied…

His advice. I never made a decision without talking to him first. Guess I’m on my own now.

Also, I miss the fact that  he was my “sweet tooth buddy.” I inherited that from him..

I need to add a few more things.

I imagine every race that Jen runs.. she does in memory of her dad.. But, I know of 2 that she runs especially because of him.

One race is on Father’s day and it takes place in her home town of New Paltz, NY in the trails..  Most years, when she is able, she runs in that half marathon early in the morning of Father’s Day, and then takes a ride over to her dad’s grave site to visit him right after. It’s a special Father’s Day tradition for her.

Also, she runs in a race (Which is actually coming up next Sunday) called “Celebrate Life Half Marathon” (in Rock Hill, NY) ..All the proceeds from this half marathon go to help local folks who need assistance with cancer care. Jen purchases a sign that is shown on the course with his name on it….In memory of Floyd Patterson.

I also need to add that Jen and I share a common love for “Pulled Pork Tacos” from a local mexican restaurant here in our area. We were out together one night for dinner and realized how delicious they are ! Those darn tacos have been a common theme to many of our text messages to each other.

One tradition I have when I run in marathons is that I write things on my arm for inspiration. My last marathon I ran, I wrote “Pulled Pork Tacos” on my arm in pen. I also wrote Jen’s mom’s name on my arm.. Her name is Janet. She is fighting cancer currently and Jen is working hard to help take care of her.

So my left arm said “Janet” and “Pulled Pork Tacos” . That helped me finish that marathon..!

I like to call Jen “superstar”…

I texted her once and said “How’s my superstar today?”.. She wrote back…

“You are so sweet. Nobody has ever called me a superstar before”

I still write that to her every so often – just to remind her of her awesomeness.

Jennifer, you are so much like your dad,,..You are definitely a superstar. Being a superstar is just one of the many traits you and your dad have in common….

 

P.S. – Jen is currently training for marathon #11. She recently shared with me that she went out in these sub zero temperatures and ran 20 miles .. She had icicles hanging off herself when she was done .. Again … “Superstar”… Go Jen !!! I will always be a fan of yours.

———————————-

Be sure to check out this interview .. Mr. Patterson talks about his love for his wife, Janet !! What a nice man!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p-alTJ90K8o

———————————–

I am the proud mama of 4 children.

I have a handful of stories that will always remain in my brain that happened when they were real young. Those preschool years.

Here is one of them…

We lived in this tiny brick house. Our smoke detector was situated near our basement steps.

The kitchen stove was also near the basement steps.

So, several times per week…When I would be boiling pasta or cooking hamburgers or some sort of food that created heat and or smoke,  our smoke detector would alarm…

Every time that happened, my husband or myself would take a kitchen towel and starting waving it up and down right next to the round apparatus on our ceiling. The towel would help move the air around that general area as to clear it away from the smoke detector faster.. … To get that darn thing to stop beeping.

Sometimes we would even stand on our tippy toes while doing it and start blowing air out of our mouths to get the thing to stop beeping…

It was quite funny, actually. It was a common occurrence. Always waving that towel like we were in an old time war, surrendering to the enemy…Always around dinner time.

So, one day at one of our kids’ preschool..

The fire department was there discussing fire safety.

I was also there that day, as a parent helper.

The fireman went over all the rules of “stop, drop, and roll”… “Don’t hide, go outside”,…. “have an escape plan” .. etc….

All tiny little people sitting there listening intently. Staring up at the fireman…with these big, curious eyes.

The firefighter said to them… “Boys and girls, Does anyone know what they should do when they hear a smoke detector go off?”

My son raised his hand…

And then, suddenly, that image of our kitchen towel waiving ran through my head..

Oh nooo…

I was so afraid my son was going to say to go get a towel, flap it around, and blow air up to the ceiling……..

Unmmmm… That would be the wrong answer….

He acted all cool, like “I got this”…

So, then he began talking and I was relieved he did not say to waive a towel..

Instead he said “Go to your phone right away and dial “Nine Nine One”

That’s right, he said “9-9-1” .. With 2 nines !!

He looked so proud of himself for “knowing” the answer…..

Hahahah… So, he still got it wrong..

I was laughing because, at first, I was so glad he knew, for real, how to handle the smoke detector situation… But, then I was laughing because he didn’t really know the phone number to 911..

Nine- ONE- one..

At first I was all like “Yess, he got it..”…Then, I was all like “Dooooe, ……No he didn’t !…”

That’s today’s story…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This story is partly about 2 sisters , partly about their mom ,  partly about a family who always has “each other’s back”, and partly about friendship….

I’ll start with the 2 sisters …Nancy and Marylou… Then, the rest just sort of meshes in after that.

I actually met Nancy and Mary Lou at the same time.

It was 1999. I was about to begin my first term on the Board of Directors for Girls Scouts of Ulster County.  At the time I didn’t even have girls old enough to be in Girl Scouts nor was I ever a girl scout. But, I was asked to be on their board… So I agreed to do it.

Right before I was officially a board member, I was asked to attend the Girl Scout Annual Dinner held in a party room of a local hotel. The director of the local unit had asked me to attend to meet all the other board members and be part of the awards ceremony. It helped me learn more about the organization.

So, I attend this dinner alone. I was a bit nervous and uncomfortable as it was unfamiliar to me.

I sat at the round table that the director had suggested I sit at. Immediately to my right were these 2 women. At the time we were the only 3 seated at this table. It was still quiet in the room and so we all introduced ourselves.

Turns out these 2 women at the table were sisters. Mary Lou and Nancy..

I also need to add, at the time of this dinner, I was pregnant for my second child. Also, Steve and I were a month  from closing on our  first new home.

As I chatted with these 2 women, I shared my excitement of the new baby about to arrive and the new house we were about to purchase.

Small world…. Turns out one of the sisters was about to become my neighbor in the new house that Steve and I were about to buy.

She informed me she will be 2 houses away… “NO WAY !!!!!” I said.

So, I made 2 new friends. Sisters…. Nancy (my soon to be neighbor) and Mary Lou.

From our conversation at the table that evening, I learned:

Nancy has 2 daughters and was married to a firefighter… actually, he was the Fire Chief for our city. Which was so cool. Living 2 doors from the “CHIEF” (Rick) was really awesome…

Marylou has 3 daughters, and is married to an awesome guy named Mike. Mary Lou is an attorney.

I have no idea WHY those 2 were at the Girl Scout dinner that night. Were they a past girl scout? Were they a past board member? Was one of more of their daughters’ a girl scout? I don’t even know..

Anyway, I moved into the new neighborhood. 2 doors from Nancy.. In early August of 1999.

I quickly started being neighborly with Nancy.

2 weeks later, I gave birth to our little Julia.  Sweet Julia was our second born.

Nancy came by with a baby gift.

I quickly learned that Nancy and her husband, Rick / Chief, often hosted family dinner parties on Sundays.

A few Sundays a month, the street would start lining up with cars. .Car after car after car. Family getting out walking up the front side walk to their door like they were walking the red carpet…  People kept showing up.. Single file entering the front door… No joke.

And of course, that’s when I would see Mary Lou. She would always see me and yell from Nancy’s front yard.. ” HI, MRS HACK !” as she and her family got out of their car walking up to Nancy and Rick’s front door. They must have always chipped in towards dinner, because it always looked like they had a bowl, pan, or crockpot in hand each time.

Also, by being Nancy’s neighbor…

I witnessed the very first day that Nancy’s first born got on the school bus for kindergarten. The bus pulled up to their house and I saw that look on Nancy’s face.. Putting her first born on the bus…It was heart warming that I got to witness a moment that all moms can relate to. Always a tear shed on that day.

Month by month , year by year…. My family (The Hack family) grew larger… , … 2 years after Julia was born, ..Bradley came along… then 3 years later William came along. After each child was born, Nancy always stopped by with a baby gift.

Month by month, year by year, …. We waived as we were getting in and out of our cars during our busy lives. We always stopped in Nancy’s front yard area to talk with her and her family as my own family  took that ever so familiar walk to the nearby park on summer nights.

Month by month, year by year….My husband and our young boys would grab a glove and ball and would plant themselves directly in front of Nancy and Ricks house to play catch, Rick / Chief could never resist. Out he would come without a glove. He did the barehanded game of catch with the boys. Always carrying on humorous conversation with my husband. Always amazed at the energy that our kids had. These games of catch went beyond the streetlights turning on for the evening. Even in the dark, that street in front of Nancy and Rick’s was the Hack playground.

Month by month, year by year,… I saw the Sunday dinner parties from afar. I saw Nancy’s  daughters growing into beautiful young women.

As for Mary Lou…..

I continued seeing her show up at her sisters house.. Always yelling to me “HELLO, MRS. Haaaaack” …. Always extending the “aaaaaa” in … Haaaack…

She started sending me and my family the most amazing handmade Christmas cards. She is a very crafty person.

She also invited me to her house for a few parties.

I also watched her 3 gorgeous girls grow into women. Smart and independent women.

The thing that is/was the most common about Nancy and Mary Lou is that….

They both adore their Mom…Mrs. Priest.

Mrs. Priest was always at Nancy’s Sunday parties down the street and she was always the center of their world.. Always.

Then, came Facebook.

Of course, we all 3 became facebook friends..

This is what I learned about these 2 sisters after becoming  Facebook friends with them:

Nancy….. I learned that she had ups and downs in life. She sometimes was sad, but always had her family to pull her through.

I learned that Nancy loves country music.

Of course, Disney… She loves to go to Disney World with her family. I am pretty sure I knew that BEFORE we were Facebook friends.. But, I learned a deeper understanding of her love for Disney by the photos she shared.

Mary Lou …. I learned that Mary Lou and I have a common love for coffee. Especially Starbucks and Hudson Coffee Traders (a well known coffee house in our town).

A side story, Mary Lou and I have been known to pull up to the Starbucks drive thru at the same exact time.. And we have ended up “Paying it forward” to each other on those occasions.

I pulled up to order Starbucks, saw Mary Lou in my rearview mirror.. and told the cashier I’ll pay for the woman’s order behind me….

At the red light just outside of Starbucks, I would then hear a yell from a car window behind me ..”THANK YOU, MRS. HAAAAACK”… always stressing the “aaaaaaa”….

I love her… You have no idea …… I really do..

I love them both !

Basically, to sum it up for both of them… It’s all about FAMILY.. These girls love, love , love their family.

That family has been through A LOT together. Life has not been easy.

And I know, and have witnessed first hand, that they are always  there for each other…

In more ways than I will EVER know.

Here is Nancy and Mary Lou’s backstory of their younger years…

Nancy and Mary Lou come from a family of 7.

5 girls, 2 boys.

Their family, the Priest family, grew up in a small hamlet town, Rosendale, that is situated about 8 miles outside of Kingston, NY…

Now, here is their current situation……

Currently, Mary Lou and Nancy and the rest of their siblings …… All out of LOVE.. are working together to help care for their mom in her elder years.

Here is Nancy’s explanation of what their family’s current situation is …regarding their mom…

My mom is 80 years old.

She is at a nearby nursing home….

She has Alzheimer’s.

It’s hard, but we take turns everyday and help her have lunch and dinner.

She still tells us every time we are there that she loves us.

At first…Their very awesome sister, Jamie, took care of their mom, Mrs. Priest, as the disease was progressing.

But, as it happens with many families who share in helping a parent with this awful disease, Mrs. Priest eventually needed to be moved to a nursing home.

So, this is now the priority for Nancy, Marylou, Jamie, and the rest of their amazing family.

Can you imagine ?.. Mrs Priest’s children make up a schedule and each of their family members take a turn going to be with her during 2 of her meals  per day.. Think about how busy peoples lives are to begin with .. This family makes sure their mother/grandmother is the priority. They just do it .. No questions asked … I’m sure it’s exhausting , but they do it .

The patience and the unconditional love that this family shows for their mom says a lot about their character(s). I am so proud of each and every one of them.

This story continues…. with me asking Nancy and Mary Lou a few questions I would like for them to answer.

These are the 2 questions that I decided to ask Nancy and Mary Lou (via Facebook inbox)..

Question 1: (To lighten it up a little) Please share a “fun fact” about yourself.

Question 2: Please share a strong memory you have that involves your mom during your years of growing up at home with her.

Here is Nancy’s answer to my two questions…..

Question #1… Fun fact:: …At a concert , I was asked on stage by the country music star, Keith Urban, to sing along side of him…  I feel like I  “bombed”, but he was so sweet and gave me many hugs. Also at that same concert..the opening act was Jake Owen and the drummer from his band threw his drum stick and I caught it and he came down and signed it for me afterward.

Question #2….Memory with mom:……..We did not have a lot of extra money growing up, so my mom always thought of ways to entertain us when we were young that did not “break the bank” so to speak. She was big on picnics. In the back of our house in Rosendale there were a lot of woods. And about a 5 to 10 minute walk through the woods you would come to the train tracks. (I believe the rail trail runs along there now) So on nice days she would pack us a picnic lunch and we would set out about 11:30 a.m. to make the noon train that still ran through Rosendale in those days. Near the tracks were foundations of where houses must have stood at one time and that is where we would set up our picnic and set on the old foundations (which I thought was totally cool) When the ground would start rumbling close to noon my mother would hold our hands and take us closer to the tracks and when we saw it rumbling towards us, we would give the motion of blowing a train horn to the conductor and if we were lucky (and we were often) the conductor would blown his horn and give us a wave. To me it was magical and I long for those innocent fun relaxing days with my mom.

Now.. Here is Mary Lou’s answers to my 2 questions…..

Here ya go!

#1. Fun Fact::
24 years ago, when I was 7 months pregnant, I had to testify at a grand jury proceeding that involved, what was reported to be, members of the mob! It was August and being months pregnant I had to go to White Plains on a hot summer day. There was no parking at the Federal Court House so I had to park in a sketchy parking garage a few blocks away. Having seen many movies and television shows, I was sure that my life would end in that parking garage. It was kind of a silly thought looking back, as I really had nothing damaging to say about anyone and just needed to give some background information about a contract. I had to work with the FBI during their investigation.

In the end the suspects were not indicted and I’m still here to tell the story. I hadn’t thought about this in many, many years, until one of my daughters made a comment about FBI agents one day and wondered about their personalities.

I immediately replied that they are just regular people and that the ones I worked with were really nice. She was like “What????” I then told her this story. I think I just became more interesting to my daughter that day! LOL.

#2. Memory::
There are so, so many memories; it’s hard to pick just one! I guess I’ll just have to go with books! My mom was always reading and when we were young she read to us. There are seven kids in our family and there were always a few extra friends and a cat and a dog running around the house. Amidst all the chaos, my mom would be reading a book. A friend recently told me she thinks that had to be Mom’s escape vehicle! Reading was so
important to her and she raised a family of avid readers. I remember that she would take whoever wanted to go to the library one night each week. I always went. I think my mom’s name was on every the checkout card inside every book in the Rosendale library. I remember we would play a game, where I would try to find a book that she had not borrowed from the library. I would take book after book off of the library shelves, but her name was in each and every one of them. When a new book came into the library they would call my mom and let her know that she should come to the library because they were saving it for her. I love reading and so do all of my children. When I go to Barnes and Noble, I usually run into at least one of my siblings.

Those are such great memories you both shared. It’s so important to hold on to those memories…

I adore this family and I am so glad I got to learn more about them.

I love that their mom still remembers to tell them that she loves them !!

Love can never lose against any disease !!!  Love conquers all.

Marylou had an additional comment she wanted to make…

 Make sure that when you write the blog entry..that you include a note that we have made you an honorary Priest sister, because you fit right in!

I would love to be an honorary Priest sister !!! I hereby accept that new title !!

 

This is Diana…. and her children: ……Eddie… and….. Joan….

I first met Diana when I was pregnant for my 3rd child. In 2001.

I met her at the YMCA. I wanted to stay healthy through my pregnancy.  So, I would wait for my husband to get home from work in the evenings (so he could watch our 2 daughters), and I would go to the YMCA to do a workout on the elliptical trainer machine. I really liked that machine. It provided a good low impact workout  for a pregnant person.

One day, … As I was doing my workout on this machine, ….along came this tall, beautiful blonde woman. She looked to be about 10 years older than myself.. She stepped onto the elliptical trainer next to me and we began to chat.

Her name was Diana.

Over time, she and I found ourselves meeting up at the same time and same places doing our evening workouts.

This is what I learned about Diana while we exercised side by side..

– She was divorced and had 2 teenage boys at the time.

– She worked in Poughkeepsie.

– She lived in Ulster Park.

– She lived with, and eventually married, a man she adored who did construction for a living.

– She was very much interested in starting a family of her own with this man.

-She knew there would be a big gap in age between any potential new baby and her teenaged sons.

-She was concerned that her age would keep her from having the baby that she very much desired. (Early 40’s)

– I do recall at one point Diana telling me her husband had gone through 8 rounds of chemo due to having non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.. He overcame that hurdle… No issues after that…

So, as Diana and I would meet up at the YMCA over time… she would share her frustration of not being able to get pregnant. I will never forget… she said to me… “Madonna is older than me and look…she just had a baby”… “I can do this”…

It was after that.. I no longer saw Diana. She may have stopped coming to the YMCA at night or I may have had the baby and my schedule of working out adjusted.. Or it may have been both…That part is foggy…

So….fast forward about 5 years or so…

I see Diana back at the YMCA… But, this time…not in the workout room…But, at a children’s event….

I saw that Diana had…. not one kid, but TWO  kids….. Young kids… They were born 2 years apart !!

She did it… She was able to have 2 children at the age of 43 and 45… They were healthy and beautiful. Diana was thrilled !!!

The event in which I ran into Diana with her kids was the YMCA 26.2 program. It is a Saturday morning event that still exists today. Each Saturday in the winter, you bring your child to the YMCA… They run a certain distance … and play games.. inside the gym of the YMCA… The program goes several weeks and the distance the children run adds up to 25.2 miles all together..And then on this one special day… outdoors… the children run their final mile at a local stadium. It adds up to the distance of a full marathon……26.2 miles…Great, great program..

So, here she is… Diana has these two adorable, young children. With this wonderful, hard working husband of hers. They were married and happy and had this amazing family.

She also had her 2 older boys who were starting to phase into more of their adult years…They were also doing well.

Diana  was doing it all over again..By choice.. She wanted this life,.. and she got it.. ….

The babies, the diapers, then preschool and all the kid activities……. Phase 2 of her “being mom” life.

So, I started seeing Diana, again more often….. At the Y… with little Joan and Ed.

My own children did the running program, and so I saw Diana most Saturdays as the program went on.

Diana’s husbands name was Nathaniel. He was at work  many of those Saturday mornings.. . I do recall seeing Nathaniel a few times and Diana introduced me to him.

So, like many Saturdays during winter …  Diana’s routine entailed… bringing the kids to the Y….while “Nat” was at work..

Here is what happened one day, a Saturday…that Diana will NEVER forget..

Saturday, February 19th, 2011… 

(Diana was brave enough to share the details of this particular day with me….)

Diana had Joan and Eddie at the kids running program. It was then that she got the phone call…Nathaniel called her.. He told her he was having shooting pains down his arm. (He was on a construction job at the time.)

He said “Diana, Come and get me !”

Diana said, “You need to call an ambulance..right now.!”…

Nathanial said “No, just please come and get me”.

Sadly, Nathaniel was having a heart attack.

Sadly, Nathaniel didn’t make it .. He died ….that day…

It was all so surreal to Diana…Totally unexpected. Nat seemed totally healthy…

All seemed good with Nat’s health after what happened 9 years earlier with the Lymphoma and chemo…

Diana said he left for work that morning.. He said “see you later” to her and the kids…and then that was it… He was gone… Just like that…

Suddenly, Diana was a widow.

Joan was only 7 years old.

Ed was only 5…

Diana’s older 2 children were 26 and 24.

Today, I had a conversation via inbox on Facebook with Diana.

Diana is quite private. She keeps to herself. She is obviously very busy.

I did, however, learn A LOT from her as a result of our conversation today..

I learned that , during her college years, Diana studied abroad in Vienna, Austria. She interned with the United Nations. She knew how to speak 5 languages…She had a fantastic life growing up. She lived in  “L.A .” for some time .. It was great.. She lived a dream life during those years.

I had already known that she had been divorced from the older boys’ dad. And, that she got married, again. This time to Nathaniel.

I just, today, learned that when Diana had all that trouble becoming pregnant in her early 40’s,  she went though sticking herself with needles .. fertility treatments… with no luck. After trying acupuncture… She was able to have Joan and Eddie. They were 2 miracles.

Diana and Nathaniel moved to another town, Saugerties, NY, in a bigger house…. after their 2 kids were born.

Soon after Nat died,  hurricane Irene and Sandy came along…, Diana’s house flooded because she lives on a creek. It was devastating. There she was.. recently widowed, totally at her lowest, and her house floods… The worst part of the entire situation is that she lost all of the sympathy cards that she cherished so dearly ..The cards she got from loved ones after Nat died. Her words….. “IT SUCKED”

Diana also helps to take care of her mom. Diana’s mom has Parkinson’s Disease.

Another big issue… Since Nathaniel did not have a “will” at his time of death.., Nathaniel died “intestate” (It’s a legal term).

That means that Diana now has a law guardian that makes sure she is a fit mom. The court investigates her job, bank accounts, schools, background checks, fingerprinting, etc. It’s a night mare. She told me that it’s important to have a will… Lesson learned. Oh and on top of all of that, she has to pay THEM to do all this work… She has to pay people to watch her.. So that she can keep her own blood children.. All because of no “will”.

I learned so much about Diana today.. As she was sharing all if this information with me , a question came to mind..

So, I asked Diana.. “Wait.. .. So You work an hour away, in Poughkeepsie?……. How do you get the kids off to school and get to work full time?….How do you do it all? …. Alone?”

Here’s what she said about that ..

“It’s horrible. Moving to Saugerties became a longer commute. I had to change my hours. My employer is/was  accommodating. I work 8:30-4:30. I had to find  day care for before and after school. My head spins.”

 

Its’ been exactly 4 years since Nathaniel passed away.

Diana shared some memories of Nat with me.. She told me that Nathaniel was a very calm, rational, and funny guy. He was also very big and strong.

It is so obvious from the pictures I see of him that he adored his family. His smile shows it all. (See photo below)…

I wanted to make sure that I shared some things about Nat because he seemed like a real special guy…. A fantastic husband and father.

These days….Things are slowly getting better for Diana.

She took up running. I have seen her at several running races. She looks so fit and beautiful. She is proud that she is one of those moms who can now go out and run with her kids. I think running has helped her “cope”. I know from my own experience, that running can do wonders when your head needs to be cleared from stress and so much more.

Diana has found a nice group of friends within the running community. I am so happy that she has a social life with such a nice group of people.

Diana said that Joan and Eddie are doing very well. They are happy kids. Doing really well in school.

I do have to share one thing I saw recently that Diana posted on Facebook. The dance studio that little Joan attends. It’s a quite popular dance studio around our town. Recently,  the studio hosted a “Father/Daughter” dance. Joan still went to that dance.. She put on a pretty, shiny, black flowered dress and showed up to the dance …without her dad.. What a brave, sweet girl….. I saw that photo of her standing there alone in that fancy dress and it broke my heart. (See the photo of Joan below)

Joan is now 11 years old. Eddie is now 9.

This whole story began with me asking Diana this 1 question…

“What is your biggest struggle right now?”

This was her response…
“My biggest struggle right now?
My goal is to look like I don’t struggle. The fact is that my biggest struggle is wondering if I’m doing “it” right. I’m mother, father, daughter, bread-winner, bill payer, doctor, care-taker, chauffeur, confidant, advice-giver, decision-maker and I want to get “it” right. I feel like the guy in the old Ed Sullivan Show who spun the plates on sticks and had to keep them all spinning by just giving them each a little spin at the right time so they wouldn’t fall off. Couldn’t do it all without my kids, really. They are the reason I got out of bed everday then, and that I continue to do so today. We stay active because I want them to be happy and well adjusted. Their routines are important to them and it helps me schedule what we are doing next. I have to keep my head on the fact that it’s all about them. I struggle more when I think it’s about me.”

I said to Diana…. during our conversation today..” I hope you realize how special, beautiful, and inspirational you are. Many people could not ever do what you do and withstand what you have gone though. I guarantee Nathaniel is looking down and beaming … So proud of how you are raising these 2 beautiful souls and how well you are taking care of yourself…”

This is what Diana wrote back to me after I told her that…..

“That’s nice of you to say that. Thank you. I feel kind of ordinary.”

She thinks she is “ordinary”!!! Can you imagine?!!… She needs to add the word EXTRA to that word.

Diana, you are “EXTRA-ordinary” and you are my hero !

Thank you for letting me feature you in “Being Hack”.

 

 

 

.

 

One thing about my father was… When he had it in his head he was going to do something… He REALLY did it… Like… “All out”..

Like his cars, for example.. They were always fully loaded with the latest and greatest features and he always chose the most spectacular color available. Always a conversation starter .. his cars were..

And then the time when he had left over green paint after painting the outside of our house… He decided to make some weird design on our front side walk…. by using a paint roller on a broomstick and making this psychedelic pattern of green on our front sidewalk slab. He got super creative with 2 different shades of green. I always hoped people did not look down onto the ground when they came over my house to visit me…

And then there were the Christmas lights..Ohhhh … The outdoor Christmas lights…… He put lights EVERYWHERE on the outside of our house. The pillars on our porch, the top edging of the porch, and the railings of our porch. We had a yard filled with bushes that surrounded our house. All the bushes were decorated.. All of them… With a lot of lights… The lights were flashy and bright. The house lit up pretty good.

The lights were never on a timer.. We used a light switch just inside our front door to turn the lights on for the night, then off before we went to bed. As it got closer to Christmas Day, my dad sometimes liked to leave them on all night. But, sometimes not…It all depended…   All done manually..

Dad was quite a character.. I loved him dearly.

This story I am about to tell takes place around Christmas time when I was about 13 years old.

I was asked to babysit. It was a family I babysat for quite often. They had 3 adorable kids. The parents were very nice.. But, their Dad wasn’t a huge fan of Christmas. I remember he commented that he couldn’t wait to get the Christmas tree out of his living room after Christmas. It was too big, messy and annoying.

Some people just aren’t into all the Christmas traditions. I get it… I mean…., other than that,… he was a happy guy. A great father..

They had a real nice house. They lived in a safe neighborhood… Things were good….

So, I babysat for that family one night around Christmas time… It was an uneventful night. The kids were good and I put them to bed. Typical, typical night of babysitting.

The dad of these 3 kids finally arrived home from wherever he was.. It was late..but not overly late.. Maybe 10pm or so.. ..

I lived less than a mile down the road. So, he quickly drove me home.

We were driving down the main road heading towards my house. I noticed that this particular street seemed to have a lot of homes decorated with outdoor lights for the holidays. It was actually really fun to see them all lit up and festive in the night….I felt happy looking at them.

The “Dad”  obviously noticed the lights, as well.( How could you NOT ?!)……Except, his feelings were quite the opposite of mine….and he let it be known ..

“I can’t stand all those flashy Christmas lights !!… It really makes it look like a bunch of Gypsys  live there. What the heck is wrong with people?!”…He said..

Oh my gosh… Not only did he dislike indoor Christmas trees, he hated the outdoor Christmas lights, too !!!!

You all know what was going through my mind at that very moment…!!!

“MY HOUSE !!!! Oh no !!!!! MY DAD and those darn lights !”

This phrase was replaying in my head over and over from the moment he said “Gypsys”…..

I started trying to send telepathic messages to my own dad. I was desperate.. (There were no cell phones on 1983 – I couldn’t text … Like you could these days ..)

This is what was going on inside my head……. “Dad, please turn off our lights, Dad, please turn off our lights, Dad, turn off those damn lights !!!..”

We lived just 3 houses to the right off of the main road I was just speaking of… So, the dad who was driving me home rounded the corner to my house,… taking a sharp right onto my street…He starts to approach my house and pulls to the right…

It was then that I realized .. that MY dad obviously did NOT get my telepathic messages…..

Because my house was still flashing and blinking all the lights …It looked like the house in “Christmas Vacation” movie.. It was blinding !!! It was more obnoxious than ever at that very moment. Like Las Vegas….

That was the most awkward moment, ever.

I pretty much grabbed the babysitting pay from the guys hand ..and I got out of his car .. And I didn’t look back.

He was embarrassed, I am sure.

It was so bad that I was embarrassed FOR him..

I just kind of had this tight lipped look on my face, held my breath, and marched right into my house. Like a soldier.

I walked in the door like a soldier ., turned stiffly to the right… , put my hand up to the wall, and I flicked that wall switch to the OFF position,….

Off went those lights ..

Then I sort of unheld my breath and “sighed”, a big, giant “sigh”. I relaxed and then I giggled….

and thought to myself …

“DADs “….

I shook my head .. back and forth.. as I walked upstairs to go to bed ..

Still giggling…

 

A few weeks ago, I wrote a story about my friend Dave… If you haven’t read it…Go back to the story titled “Dave vs. Pain”…

I grew up with Dave…In the same neighborhood. The story tells the events that happened as he was growing up, how he lives with a lot of pain, his fears, the people who inspire him, and his love for his family and for his music and guitars..

Again, you have to read the story if you haven’t already. You’ll be glad you did !!

What you all don’t know is exactly how Dave’s pain first started.

It started in 1997. He broke his neck.

Exactly how did he break his neck, you ask?

Well, this is where the story gets quite interesting.

You would never guess in a million years………

Dave worked for an organization called WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment )-

Employed by the McMahon Family .. … The founders of the WWE..

He worked for them for 10 years.

That’s right…. Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold,  and all the other big muscly wrestling guys that you would see on TV….. WWE.smackdown, WWE raw, ..

Dave worked as a tech guy and toured with them. Then, he eventually became a massage therapist to the wrestlers and was the favorite massage guy on the scene, on tour……

This is what happened to Dave….

While he was working behind the scenes during a taping of a WWE television show , Dave got caught, by accident, in the middle of a scene in which Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin were about to confront each other and get violent.

Dave got hit in the chin and he cracked the back of his head on a huge concrete pillar. It was captured on video during the filming – (You will see the link below)

All Dave remembers is that he woke up in a West Virginia hospital…

It was finally determined that he had a cracked vertebra.

This lead to Dave getting surgery and getting a new “disc” installed. As time went on it got real messy… More surgeries, more complications… A lot of patience, a lot of doctor visits…a lot of pain…

After awhile. Dave just couldn’t work anymore… The pain was too unbearable.

But, yea… It all started with the WWE… and by Dave being in the wrong place at the wrong time..

Please check out this video below of the actual incident that caused the broken neck.

The video is titled “Dave’s Beating”

Pay attention at :20 seconds in…. Dave’s the guy to the left who gets shoved by Shawn Michaels..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfawPsmBqCE&feature=youtu.be

This video makes it so real….

This is how it all began……

Dave, you truly are a Rock Star ! Sorry this happened.

 

 

 

 

Everybody has a “story” that they  hold close to their heart.

This is Tina. And this is her story.

I first met Tina back when I was working at a shoe store. I was a teenager. It was a part time job. Tina worked with me. At the time she was dating the manager of the store.

Tina and I really got along well. We had the same sense of humor, we had the same work ethic, and just plain and simple …We really just liked each other. A friendship bond formed quickly.

Well, we  found out why we hit it off so well. Turns out,  we share the same birthday. NOVEMBER 30.

Tina is exactly 5 years older than I am.

Back in 1989, on her actual birthday, November 30th. Her boyfriend took her to New York City to see the singer, actor, superstar…that Tina has idolized, adored, and followed for many years. ……..STING….Sting is best known for being in the band “The Police”. The night she went to see him he was acting in a Broadway show.

I remember when it all happened. Tina told me all about it the next day.

Tina had stayed after the show and waited to meet Sting. He came out after the performance. She was so happy to report that she met him. She got his autograph. Tina was beside herself that she actually got to talk to the man she has just adored for many years…

This moment that she met Sting stuck with her. It was the day she would never forget. She saved the T-Shirt and his signature.

Tina spoke of and thought of this moment quite often.

There were 20 years after my days of working at that shoe store that I did not see Tina anymore. She had since married a different person than the boyfriend she had back then. She was/is raising 2 children. She was living her life like the rest of the world.

Then, along comes FACEBOOK. Tina and I found each other in 2010 …And, ba-da-bing…, friends again….. Keeping in touch. Being birthday buddies. Enjoying each others entertaining Facebook posts, etc.

This past December I recall reading that Tina was excited to go see a Broadway Show starring no other than …. STING !!

He was back on Broadway and starring in “The Last Ship” in the famous Neil Simon Theatre.

She bought the tickets. Turns out, the day that the tickets were for, Sting was NOT performing that day. Some other actor was.

You think that stopped Tina? No way.. She went to that showing of The Last Ship, which Sting did not perform in…….. But, she also bought tickets for the following week when she KNEW that Sting would be there for sure.

So, I am going to now share a portion of Tina’s Facebook post from December 14th, 2014. The day she went to NYC to see Sting on Broadway. The day Sting was actually planning on performing in the “The Last Ship”….She went to NYC with her son, Thomas, that day…

Here is Tina’s well written Facebook post about what happened on that day ..(Also, be sure to check out the pictures below capturing the images of Tina as she is going through this very surreal experience..)

 “Thomas and I had a lot of time to kill. It was 12:45 and we had just finished lunch at the Brooklyn Diner near Carnegie Hall. We walked back down toward 52nd Street where the Neil Simon Theater is (the Theatre that the Last Ship was being performed). As we passed by the theater we saw the people waiting for their names to be drawn from the lottery for extra tickets and some random beggars hanging around the stage door.

We decided to turn around and we trekked down 6 more blocks to re-visit the spot I met Sting in 1989- outside the stage door of the Lunt Fontanne Theater on 46th Street.  

We still had time to spare and decided to walk past the theater toward 8th Ave to get a coffee or something. Plus I needed a restroom. Thomas said- “Oh, there’s a Starbucks” and we crossed the intersection and went inside. He got on line for coffee and I went to the restroom. 5 minutes later, coffee and water in hand and with no seats to spare inside, I said, “Meh, we’re tough, we’ll walk around some more. “

It was about 1:40. I pushed open the door and we stood at the corner. This crosswalk had a bike lane and then a small median strip so we began walking toward the median. As I looked at the lone figure standing on the median, I noticed he was wearing scruffy pants, black sneakers, a down jacket and a knit cap. He had a beard. He turned his head ever so slightly and as I stepped over to the median, I saw his profile and I knew……….

It was Sting!!!!

I had a split second to decide what to do. Take a picture? Approach him? Don’t approach him? I took a leap of faith and I decided to be myself and I walked up next to him (but not too close) and I said, “Sting?…” very calmly and quietly. He looked at me sort of intrigued and I think I extended my hand and said, “Hi, I am a big fan of yours and I met you 25 years ago on my birthday. I sort of unzipped my jacket to show him the shirt with his broadway likeness from 25 years ago and he chuckled. A real chuckle. I said, “This is my son and we’re to see the show for the second time and I am so happy to meet you” (or something like that) He said “Well it’s nice to meet you again” as we crossed the street. He also shook Thomas’s hand. I’m not sure but I think he was very close to me crossing the street- and very gentlemanly he put his arm behind me to guide me across as we stepped off the curb. Or maybe I dreamed that part. It was definitely very out-of-body at that point. We had one more street to cross and he asked, “Was it really 25 years?” And I said, “Yes, it was,- he was just a baby then (Gesturing to Thomas)Then I said, “But neither of us has aged a bit at all!” (pointing to Sting and myself) He laughed. Audibly.

I then asked, “May I take a picture?” and he said, “uh…not here, let’s go and I’ll bring you backstage and we’ll take it there, otherwise it would be like a photo shoot on the street.” I said, “Oh, of course, thank you” He continued, “ I’m supposed to be incognito, I didn’t think anyone would recognize me” I nodded and said, “Well, I did” As we walked the half block to the theater, I said, “I just want you to know, I’m not a crazy stalker, I’m a normal person, we live upstate- I’m from Rhinebeck- you know- where your friend the bassist Ira Coleman lives? “ And he said “Oh, yeah” Then he asked “ So you’re seeing the show today?” I told him “ Yes, I saw it last week with Jimmy Nail and it was amazing but I had to get more tickets to come back for you” He said, “Yes, Jimmy has some big boots for me to fill” To which I said, “Well, I’ve heard very good things about your performance” He said, “So, you’re seeing it again- but it’s all the same jokes, you know?” I laughed…we approached the stage door and he signed some autographs on memorabilia that some very disheveled and/or homeless looking men were holding out for him. We then stepped inside the stage door. He said, “ok, do you need light?” I replied, “No, I have a flash on my camera, that should be fine” So I stood next to him and he put his arm around me as I handed the camera to Thomas. Then he asked, “would you like one with him?” So I said, Oh, sure, Thank you” and I snapped a (blurry) one of Thomas.

I thanked him and said I was a fan since I was 14….. and I have followed his work ever since…… and I think I said “break a leg” and “thank you, again”. And then the doorman guy shepherded us out back to reality.
So that was it. If any details that I forgot come back to me, I’ll add them in.
My guardian angels were working hard for me today. To choreograph the exact moment in time and space in all of Manhattan I really cannot explain it any other way.”

This second meeting with Sting was exactly 2 weeks to the day after her birthday. Almost exactly to the day 25 years to date after her first encounter with Sting ..

I truly do believe that her guardian angels choreographed those 2 meetings with Sting. I think it was all part of her life path.. planned out….. I really do….

This was so special to her, I don’t think Tina has slept for weeks, reliving this story in her head.

Tina got STUNG twice, and she liked it !!

I want to add that it’s pretty neat that I was in Tina’s life during both of those experiences and heard the story each time .. The next day after it happened … That amazes me ..

 

I sent Tina a message (inbox) on Facebook asking her to share her thoughts  on her experience …

Here  is what she wrote :

Here are some of my thoughts about the day: I was struck by how absolutely normal and genuine Sting has become- time and age seem to have tempered his celebrity and made him more approachable and more grounded. After 25 years, I met the same man, but a different version- one who had grown and changed just as we all have… I was also thinking about how life goes in cycles- 25 years after my brief meeting with “rockstar Sting”, here I was with my grown up son (who happened to be a baby in 1989 ) My son is about the same age I was when I met Sting the first time….and I am just about the age my own mother was in 1989 also…..I will be turning 50 this year. So the significance of this meeting was quite profound to me with regard to my own life cycles. One of the songs Sting wrote years ago that was in the show is called “All This Time” and it is about how the river that flows through their hometown has kept flowing “all this time” throughout the ages- from pre-history to the Roman occupation, to the industrial revolution, through his grandparents’ lives, his parents’, his own, and it will continue to flow, unencumbered by time. I think about that a lot, and how we have to make the best of our lives while we are here, because in the grand scheme of things, life is really just too short. Carpe Diem!

 

 

This story is truer than I wish it were…

The setting is in Albany, NY…On a street in the center of Albany,…. Madison Avenue to be exact.

The story begins in the late fall/ early winter of 1996.

I was set to graduate from SUNY Albany in December of 1996 and then move out of my apartment in Albany NY,….. move in to my fiancé’s (now husband- Steve) apartment in Kingston, NY,…… then get married on January 11, 1997 (3 weeks later).

It was a whirl wind of trying to plan the final stages of a wedding, studying for final exams, getting set to march in the winter graduation ceremony, move out from my old Albany apartment and into my new Kingston apartment .. All within 3 weeks time. It was crazy.

I had a roommate, named Kristen, who shared the  Albany apartment with me. Kristen was originally my dorm roommate when we first moved to Albany. We got along so well, that we continued to be roommates when we eventually moved into this apartment together.

Since, I was moving out in December, and Kristen could not find a replacement for me to continue helping with paying rent at the apartment,….. She decided to start looking for a part time job so she can keep the apartment afloat for 6 more months until she graduated in June.

That made sense…

Now, I need to back this story up, again,  to late fall, 1996…. When the final stages of college and me living in Albany were still happening….

I decided I wanted to look tan on my wedding day. I figured since it was a winter wedding, I needed some “color” so I didn’t look too pasty in my wedding gown.

This is where the setting of the story comes in to play…. Madison Ave., Albany…

I decided to purchase a few months worth of tanning packages at an indoor tanning salon that was situated on Madison Avenue in Albany. It was just 2 blocks from my apartment.

Kristen decided to do the same. She saw my nice tan, and thought … “Ehh, why not”…

Well, we both got our beautiful tans because we made sure we went and laid in those tanning beds about 4 times per week…

We both became familiar with the main person who looked to be in charge of tanning salon.. She was an attractive woman,.. had long and fancy nails, and she had long wavy blonde hair… Kind of rough around the edges,… but seemed nice enough. She was always busy .. cleaning the tanning beds and setting the timers so no one over cooked themselves, informing those people who were waiting their turn when they could go in to their special room to tan …

“Colleen, you can go into bed number 3 now.. the bed’s all clean for you and I’ll set your timer for 20 minutes” … That’s basically what that job entailed.. .

And before you all lecture me… I admit…It was stupid and I don’t do that anymore… The older I get, the more I realize “natural is better” ….

So,,, back to the Madison Ave. tanning salon.

All was going as planned, I was all tan and fancy, and all set to graduate and move out of my apartment that I shared with Kristen. All set to look tanned and glowing while I walked down the isle.

Right around the time I moved out, Kristen lucked out by finding a part time job to help offset that rent she was needing to cover while I was no longer living there.

It turns out that the Madison Ave. tanning salon had a sign in the window one day. “HELP WANTED”.

Kristen approached that lady that was always there, applied for the job.. and in due time she got the job.

Well, ..Kristen and I continued to keep in touch after I moved out. Obviously, she attended our wedding. She and I got along well .. And we knew we would always remain friends.

So, about a month after Steve and I were married, I decided to call Kristen to say hello and check in on her.

I asked her how the job at the tanning salon was going.

She went on to tell me this story…………..

Kristen said that she trained with the woman I spoke of earlier for about a week. She learned the ropes. She learned just what she needed to do to keep the salon going smoothly.

Once the main woman felt comfortable with Kristen’s training, she decided to leave early and let Kristen “run the show” so to speak.

The woman was about to leave the salon for the night. She was about to walk out the door for the night and leave Kristen as the only employee there .. , She turned to Kristen and said .. “Oh , one more thing… My husband is the real owner of this place.. He will be calling you tonight to see how things are going and he will give you some jobs to do.. You know, cleaning and ordering supplies and such”… Then, the woman says… “You will know it’s him calling on the phone because when you answer, it will have a recording asking to accept his “collect call”. Go ahead and accept it”

Kristen thought that was odd, but shook her head yes that she would be conscious of that phone call from the real “BOSS”…

Sure enough, the phone rang that night…And sure enough there was a operator recording asking to accept a collect call…

The recording went something like this….

“You have a collect phone call from a prisoner at The State Correctional Facility, if you are willing to accept this call, please press 1″…

I kid you not !!!!!

Kristen had to take orders from a man sitting in prison. He was running his business from jail.

So, each night Kristen worked, the phone would ring, Kristen would accept the collect call,  and the “BOSS” would instruct her as to what rooms to vacuum and what beds to clean., what tanning lotion products to order from the supplier, and so on …..

Kristen started getting a little more unsettled… As if it wasn’t unsettling enough… When the “BOSS” started calling and demanding Kristen tell him if there were any men coming in to talk to his wife… He was asking specific times the wife was leaving for the night.. and questions such as that…

The “Boss” was getting agitated and he was starting to raise his voice from prison at Kristen…

That is when Kristen decided to put in her “notice” and leave that job..

I felt so bad that she had to deal with that… If you all knew Kristen… She is/was NOT rough around the edges… She is a born again Christian and a very innocent personality .

So, that’s my story…

“Who’s the BOSS”??…

Some dude sitting in jail at a State Correctional Facility…. That’s who….

 

 

 

The street I grew up on had several large families. I had 5 kids in my family. I can name several that had families that size. But, the largest family on our street had 9 kids.

The street name was “Hemlock Avenue” in Kingston, NY … It even sounded like the perfect street….. filled with tight knit families and many kids… It truly was a great street to grow up on.

Turns out, my childhood best friend was the youngest of that family with 9 kids.

I was at her house a lot.

That house was so fun and full of life. Not that my own house was not, but my dad worked nights and had to sleep during the day. So, at my house…we always felt the need to be more calm and quiet for that reason.

My parents and the parents of this large family I speak of were very good friends.

The father of this large family was a good man. His name was Mr. Sullivan.

He treated me so well. He lit up when he saw me and called me “DOLL”.

Here is just one example of something that was especially nice that Mr. Sullivan did for me….

Although he had NINE of his own kids, he took a lot of time  to show me how to play softball. He really wanted me to be able to “TRY OUT” for a little league team. Back in those days you really had to try out and really had to be accepted and chosen on to a team.

There we stood on that little side street that paralleled  his back door .. Tubby Street was the name ..

He worked with me on how to use the glove to catch the ball and how to throw the ball by stepping your foot forward.

Mr. Sullivan pitched the ball to me so I could learn how to bat. He gave me pointers. One time, he mis-threw the softball while pitching it, and the ball bonked me in the nose. My nose started to bleed. I was not upset. Remember, I was the youngest of 5, I could handle that…Mr. S felt so awful about it. He ran inside as quick as he could to get me a papertowel and told me to put my head up and squeeze my nose. He really felt terrible.

The ironic part is that this man would never hurt a fly. He was a sweet, kind man…

For years and years he brought up the bloody nose incident because he felt so awful about it.  It became a “remember that time that  I ….”  type of story….

I remember he told me that I could go with him and his daughter (my bestie) on the day of tryouts. He would give me a ride to the little league field. My own father couldn’t bring me because he was sleeping due to his work schedule and my mother did not have a drivers license…

I remember it was gloomy and raining a little bit.. that morning of tryouts. I feel like I didn’t really do that well. But, guess what ?!!…I made it onto a team. Thanks to Mr. Sullivan, I was on a team. My own softball team that I tried out for… That was huge for me !!

Granted, I was never the best softball player in the world, but that was my own fault for not being naturally athletic.

Again, this man had 9 kids of his own and he put in the time and effort to help this little blonde haired, blue eyed , ragamuffin who lived down the street to learn to play a sport and encouraged her to do so. At that time in my life, no one had ever done anything like that for me.

Over the span of probably 8 years, I spent countless hours at that families house. They always, always treated me like their 10th child.

It was fun there… You  literally could play fun background music in your head….while picturing the good times being had….., like they do in the movies….when people are having fun times , doing fun things together…

Because of the era in which I grew up, the music would probably be Rod Stewart or Barry Manilow. Well, now that I think about it … I think that music was actually, for real,  playing in the background – Through stereo speakers that they would lean against the screen in their dining room window, volume up high , facing outward and blaring the tunes… while the fun was being had outside in their yard !..

They had a large hill in their side yard. My friend and I would run up that hill, and lay down sideways, then let our bodies go and just roll and roll back down the hill. Always giggling when we reached the bottom because we were so dizzy.

We swam in their pool, did cannon balls off their diving board, and played marco polo.

When it was time for lunch, Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan would be in their kitchen, slapping together “peanut butter and fluff” sandwiches on white wonder bread.. like an assembly line. There was so many kids eating lunch.. , Mrs. Sullivan would walk out with a large cafeteria tray. .. “Fluff-a-nutter” sandwiches stacked in a pyramid. The sandwiches were cut corner to corner, layered on paper towels ..And …Guess what ?  ….There was always a sandwich there for me.

When it was a hot summer night, and Mr. Sullivan wanted to bring his family out for ice cream at the local soft serve walk up icecream stand – Mickeys Igloo – He just assumed I was getting in their wood paneled station wagon and joining them….Never an issue, I was always included …

Such great memories of a great man and a great family…

I wanted to share these memories of Mr. Sullivan……..

Because, today, I will be attending his funeral.  I will be playing these memories in my head as we all celebrate his life….

Little Colleen Dymond down the street was just a SMALL part of this man’s life, but that sniplet of my childhood memories with him will always have a special, LARGE place in my heart.

~~In memory of Mr. Philip Sullivan ~~

I will always be your “DOLL” …..

 

 

 Meet Harris and Robert..

I first met Harris and Robert at a mutual friends’ house party.. I remember being in the kitchen of this old farm house and saw Harris .. We intruded ourselves and I remember I told him how much I loved the  name “Harris”..

Harris and I talked for a long time and then went into a different room where he introduced me to Robert..

I knew I was going to enjoy knowing them both..

My husband and I went to their home for a party soon after.

I then became Facebook Friends with Harris ..

Harris tells me he loves my Facebook posts .. He probably thinks I’m silly .. That’s a good thing !!

There is so much more to Harris and Robert than their “professional titles”….

But, I have to say ….. Their titles speak a lot for their dedication, professionalism, and success !!!

A power couple – no doubt !

Here’s what they do…

HARRIS SAFIER – CEO, Principal Broker – Westwood Metes & Bounds Realty

(Harris has 5 very busy and successful real estate offices in our area )

ROBERT TONNER – American entrepreneur, fashion designer, sculptor, doll artist…CEO of Tonner Doll Company.

(Be sure so google “Tonner Doll Company” and read about the dolls they make and sell .. Tonner makes dolls from characters that  have licensing from corporations such as Warner, DC Comics , Sony Entertainment, Warner Bros, Disney, and much more .. The dolls are exquisite and are sold online and in the world famous toy store – FAO Schwarz)

I wanted to find out a little extra something about these two…

So, I decided to text Harris and asked him these 2 things….

1. Can you answer a question for me (in which I did not know the answer)… so that I can feature it on “Being Hack”?

And…

2. If so, here is the actual question…. “How did you and Robert meet?”

Here was Harris’ text reply ..

Would love it Colleen…
Robert and I were “set up” by a coworker and two friends.

I was asked to accompany Robert to measure some rooms in the home he was in contract to purchase. My co-worker “alledged” that she was busy that Sunday and was not able to accompany him herself.

3 months later, in June 1986, Robert and I went to dinner for our first time.

We’ve been together ever since.

We were married by Judge Karen Peters …in our home…  on September 2, 2012.

 

Wow !! They’ve known each other for almost 30 years .

They are an amazing couple and they are so well loved in our community..

Thank you for being part of “Being Hack” and for being my friend !